Blessings in Disguise!!

This past Friday, Kerrington and I had a special day of running errands which included going to McDonalds as well as the candy store in the mall. I had been contemplating, since our visit to Columbus, on how to best talk to her about her upcoming surgery. I felt like it was necessary to try to explain as she is to the age where she understands but doesn't. I decided, while sitting in McDonalds, that I would make the attempt. So I began to explain how she was born with a special heart and that there would be times that the doctors would need to work on her special heart in order to keep her from getting really sick. She immediately said "I not like doctors, they are mean and I not like hospitals". I knew that was coming because that is where she is now in life. All the hospital and doctor visits up until now haven't been pleasant for her. Even though I expected her response I couldn't go on because I knew that I would end up a crying mess sitting in McDonalds of all places!! All I could think of for the remainder of the day is how I shouldn't have to explain this to her and that she shouldn't have to endure the things that she has to endure.

I had some "girl time" yesterday with a new friend which is proving to be another blessing in life. She was telling me a story which I won't get into, I will just tell you the moral of the story which was that it's ok to say "it just sucks"!! So I am saying it now for this situation "it just sucks" that I have to have conversations such as the one attempted with Kerrington, that we have to hand this 4 year old blessing over to someone we barely know to again work on the most precious part of the body, and that most of her memories of doctors and hospitals will be bad ones. Yes it just sucks!!!!

My friend also said something to me that was such a blessing to me!! I was explaining how this surgery will be harder than the first because Kerrington understands enough to be like "why are you letting them do this to me" but not quite understand that WE ARE protecting her. My friend said that The Lord must feel like that with us, his precious children. Letting us experience life, as hard or painful as it might be, and while we don't understand it is what's best for us. The heartache he must feel.........because my heart hurts so bad at times that its almost unbearable.

Thank you Lord for loving me that much and for yesterday's blessings in disguise!!